Social pressure

Recently, I started feeling a certain kind of "social pressure"
Maybe it’s connected to the fact that I often publish different posts – LinkedIn, micro-blog, Telegram etc.

If we talk about LinkedIn for example, of course most posts there are related to work and migration processes
For example, describing the process of moving to a new country or the difficulties of finding a job

It seems there are several sides to this pressure
I’ll try to describe them here, maybe someone will recognize themselves in a similar situation

Work

Of course, life can’t be imagined without work, or at least without income
In recent years I’ve had different job-search stages, all of this during relocation

Regarding work, I started feeling the most hate when I began living in North America,
I think this is connected to many stereotypes about it
I often hear accusations that you work for “funny money” and that everyone here is supposed to earn big cash

When you show people the facts that most people here are also just surviving, people are unhappy

I think it’s some kind of psychological factor – it’s easier for a person to associate themselves with a successful majority than with harsh reality

Of course, I try to “compare myself with myself,” but it doesn’t always work, sometimes society puts a lot of pressure
If you look back at your achievements, everything is actually pretty good… but in those moments you stop noticing it
In IT this is even more noticeable

Education

During immigration, and many years before it, I’ve been constantly studying – languages, technologies… all of that
You could say my learning started with my first job in 2007
But again, social networks and other places of interaction with people, including LinkedIn, try to show you that you are nobody

I often talk to IT specialists from different fields, and many of them have higher education in their profession, sometimes even a master’s degree

For me this has always been a difficult point, because at the time when people were getting IT/technical education, I was busy surviving

It may be hard for some to believe, but even 10 km from Moscow people can live in very modest conditions (not saying poverty, but close to it)

I had to pay for everything myself; there was no financial help to expect from anywhere

In the 2010s, I worked and traveled to Moscow like many from my town; the commute took 1.5–2 hours one way

I spent almost all my time at work – more than 9 hours – and after that I started attending English courses; university was simply not an option

There were simply no resources for that – no time, no money, no energy
There was only enough money for basic things; if you don’t work – you don’t eat

I don’t know how things are in Moscow now, but back then there was bullying at work toward people who “live outside the MKAD”; it was disgusting to listen to stupid jokes about it
Muscovites were very proud of their status

In childhood, at the school I attended, they didn’t really teach foreign languages, even though it was a “Lyceum,” so I started learning the language while already working

The atmosphere at school wasn’t great either; they constantly told you that you were worthless and stupid))) Great support LOL

Because of that attitude, I spent 8th and 9th grade what would now be called “remote learning,” studying from home and not communicating with anyone

After that I went to a college that I also didn’t choose; it was simply the only one I could afford near home. I barely finished it and forgot all about it

Back in the 2010s, I solved the diploma issue in Russia by buying that diploma, and the question in that country was basically closed

But of course now, when you encounter people on LinkedIn with beautiful university pictures in their profiles, sometimes a feeling of sadness appears

And then I started finding videos like this

After looking a bit deeper into the topic, it turns out that people with a “proper life” sometimes also want to change something about it

In general, all my actions up to a certain point consisted of attempts to start this “proper life” – with a university, a stable predictable career, etc.

But something always went wrong…

For example, in 2012 I enrolled in a foreign languages university (MGLU), using my fake bachelor’s diploma to pursue a second degree as a translator

After 1.5 years I dropped out, because in my understanding it had nothing to do with studying; it felt more like working in a Soviet-era state company

As a result, in both career and education – complete chaos and unpredictability
However, even in that, I am free to choose what interests me and I do it without any fear of the unknown

Immigration and the European Union

Back in the 2010s, I started doing volunteer activities, often interacting with various people, frequently from the EU

Back then I felt how people can divide others into categories, including by belonging to EU countries

No one told you directly, of course, but you could always feel like some kind of “second-class” person, which was hurtful

You seem to be doing exactly the same things – but you are worse by definition, simply because you are “not where you’re supposed to be”

Especially at a time when the EU was presented as a model of the future and something to strive for…
I think partly because of this the world has now faced war

Now of course you understand how absurd it all was, but it takes time to realize things like that
And even now you can often see this; during crises people don’t generally become better

People often expect certain behavior from you, for example that you must live in a “successful expensive country”
Regarding Canada, I could already publish a whole “collection of memes” about it))

“National parks” alone would immediately take the top spot
Every time someone writes to me, “When are you finally going to a national park?!”
Yet most Canadians have never been to them in their lifetime, but no one remembers that

It just happened that I’ve been spending 3+ years in one city without leaving its limits

This is the first time in my life staying in one place for so long
And moving to Moldova – for many people it sounds like an insult

Conclusion

So what do I want to say with all this?
It’s foolish that people evaluate others by criteria like education and salary
A person without a “proper life” is a bad person – often it looks like that

But about myself I can say – I’m no longer afraid of any changes
Moving to another country, learning a new language, passing a difficult exam – these are just tasks in the calendar, nothing more

Uncertainty and spontaneity have become part of the routine, and changes are perceived as part of life

I’ve changed 15+ jobs and regret none of them
Moreover, I believe the value of this experience for me is enormous

If you have faced something similar, remember – you are not alone!